I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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