'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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