McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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