I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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