There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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