question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
