He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
