we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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