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I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
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