what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?