Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.