I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way