google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
