Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.

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  (504): I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine. http://tfl.nu/uiwl
  Replies (27) Good night (3098) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.

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  (860): Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium. http://tfl.nu/ptz9
  Replies (32) Good night (857) Bad night (5340)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.

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  (703): i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room. http://tfl.nu/rb5o
  Replies (24) Good night (1071) Bad night (6299)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY

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  (864): she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY http://tfl.nu/d7k6
  Replies (20) Good night (6341) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  So I fucked that hot french guy last night

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.

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  (662): So I fucked that hot french guy last night (228): You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up. http://tfl.nu/pgt2
  Replies (18) Good night (1055) Bad night (4583)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.

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  (210): I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast. http://tfl.nu/qvgk
  Replies (143) Good night (2378) Bad night (50584)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.

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  (419): Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class. http://tfl.nu/zkx8
  Replies (5) Good night (971) Bad night (2598)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.

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  (715): So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room. http://tfl.nu/stph
  Replies (4) Good night (1668) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

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  (616): Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry. http://tfl.nu/rf2y
  Replies (7) Good night (1554) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not

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  (909): I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not http://tfl.nu/br11
  Replies (10) Good night (1537) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.

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  (780): I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall. http://tfl.nu/azun
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.

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  (804): The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation. http://tfl.nu/w1hq
  Replies (6) Good night (962) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants

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  (314): He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants http://tfl.nu/b4ki
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.

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  (801): Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later. http://tfl.nu/hc8l
  Replies (10) Good night (523) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  YES. ALL MY YES.

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  (513): I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries. (1-513): YES. ALL MY YES. http://tfl.nu/gvep
  Replies (0) Good night (684) Bad night (268)

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