Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am

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  (248): im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am http://tfl.nu/u3w5
  Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (1333)
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  (631): View more from New York

  New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.

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  (631): New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled. http://tfl.nu/1807
  Replies (164) Good night (9090) Bad night (862)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.

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  (610): I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pcj6
  Replies (38) Good night (4185) Bad night (723)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate

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  (617): Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate http://tfl.nu/lx6z
  Replies (61) Good night (1052) Bad night (5569)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.

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  (403): you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off. http://tfl.nu/h9sg
  Replies (17) Good night (1421) Bad night (6330)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.

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  (715): I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that. http://tfl.nu/f05r
  Replies (7) Good night (1322) Bad night (5394)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed

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  (863): if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/59ub
  Replies (8) Good night (5372) Bad night (735)
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  (310): View more from California

  Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.

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  (310): Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius. http://tfl.nu/qlyj
  Replies (30) Good night (1712) Bad night (4384)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.

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  (860): the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real. http://tfl.nu/2bbh
  Replies (5) Good night (4732) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.

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  (408): You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed. http://tfl.nu/u516
  Replies (7) Good night (1056) Bad night (2107)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.

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  (813): Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer. http://tfl.nu/ugza
  Replies (3) Good night (1885) Bad night (467)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.

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  (480): Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/s5ct
  Replies (5) Good night (659) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines

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  (901): Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines http://tfl.nu/paji
  Replies (10) Good night (649) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high

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  (408): Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high http://tfl.nu/gssl
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (204)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.

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  (+61): A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty. http://tfl.nu/ftfe
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (200)

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