I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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