first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
