This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
