are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
