that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
