you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
