I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
