My friends, they love my intelligence
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
