I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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