Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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