I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
