It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
