I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
