So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
