I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
3 2 1 whiskey
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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