no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
