Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I deserve this hangover.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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