Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
