o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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