Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
