How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
