omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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