I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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