just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
