If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
