walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
