I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
