Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize