Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize