so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
