wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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