They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
