my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
