i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
