Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
