Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
