...so i touched it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
