dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
