What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm like, not good at living.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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