found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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