I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize