You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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