I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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