I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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