Soap is not a condiment
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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