I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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