i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
