You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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