He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
