dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im holly from the hills drunk
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
