I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
