Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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