David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
