I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
