I accidentally burped into my bong.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize