3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
